We need to stop blaming victims and survivors, because it is not their fault. Should a man have to ask, explicitly, before sex if it is alright? In most cases, probably not. But that brings us to a touchy area, not covered by the article: Partner Rape.
Call it Marital Rape, Spousal Rape, or whatever you want. Wikipedia defines it as "non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim's spouse". The reaction most people have is that you can't be raped by your husband or boyfriend, if you didn't want to have sex with him then you wouldn't be with him. If you don't consent, it is rape. Simple as that. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to go into this issue here; partially because I try to run this more as a pagan family blog than as a person one, and partly because of my past.
You see, I'm a survivor of partner rape.
Years before I met my Sean, I was with a
Regardless, after I finally got the courage to leave him and managed to tell someone what had happened, you can imagine my shock and pain when they told me that it wasn't rape because he had been my boyfriend.
Rape is rape. The horror, the helplessness and the pain are the same - regardless of your association with the attacker.
I'm not quite sure how to end this post, to be honest. I'm not trying to get sympathy, just create awareness. It is one of those subjects with me that I could go on about forever. So, since this post is about a controversial subject anyway, lets ask a controversial question. How do you define rape?